Advocate Ansari : Professor! My car is at your disposal, if you are just waiting for your Vauxal .... You are always punctual, I know, and you have hardly ten minutes left ...

Prof. Pandu : Thank you sir, thank you very much indeed. It is very kind of you. But I am not in need of either my Vauxal or your car ...

Doctor Damu : But, have you forgotten about your engagement, Professor?

Prof. Pandu : Whatever may be the ailment I am subjected to from time to time, Doctor, absent-mindedness is not one of them. I am perfectly conscious of the fact referred to by you. But there has been what I would call as a eleventh-hour cancellation ...

Advocate Ansari : So you are not going to deliver the lecture about "Jews, then and now," ...

Prof. Pandu : Yes, Sir! I thought that the theme would ill-fit with the present trend ...

Doctor Damu : Oh! You are making a reference to the flare-up in the Holy Land...

Prof. Pandu :Yes, and about its repercussions ...

Doctor Damu : It is indeed amazing ... the way in which a distant event affects the course of events in other places ...

Prof. Pandu : Indeed it is amazing. But, true! The world, Sir, has been shrinking in size progressively so much that countries considered to be distant have almost become neighbours. The world has become small ... and events in one place affect the course of events elsewhere...
Advocate Ansari : Our food-ships too I am told, are affected ...

Prof. Pandu : Sir, may I correct you a bit?...Neither the food nor the ship is ours. The food is for us and the ships belong to other countries.

Doctor Damu : Our professor takes always a peculiar pleasure in details ...

Prof. Pandu : I wish very much Doctor! That you too would look into details ... especially when patients seek your help.... occasionally ...

Doctor Damu : Professor! I ignore your veiled taunt! Occasionally you say, meaning of course by that, that my practice is not lucrative ...! But you should remember that I had a roaring practice, till two years ago, when I retired ... voluntarily ...

Prof. Pandu : And with the best of intentions.... I think you wanted to make way for others in your field to come up and to the front-line ...

Advocate Ansari : That is a good thing. Congestion in departments act as a damper to the second and third line people. And in that connection I would say that the raising of the age of retirement, to 58, is not to be advocated.

Doctor Damu : But there are instances of extension of service, or re-employment ...

Advocate Ansari : They are exceptions, not the rule ...

Prof. Pandu : But if exceptions become too many, then the rule becomes meaningless and purposeless...

Doctor Damu : Just like the flare-up in the Arab world...
Prof. Pandu : Sir, I refuse to endorse your opinion ... I would not rush to offer opinion on a matter which is by its very nature explosive.

Advocate Ansari : Just the opposite of the Government of India's attitude I believe.

Doctor Damu : I think that the Government of India did the right thing after all. Should we not support Nasser? He is our respected friend and ally.

Prof. Pandu : Friend? True! But ally? I can't say! We have had occasions to test that, and Nasser did not give us the opportunity of having him as our ally. But that is part of the old story. The Government of India, in my opinion need not have been so hasty in making observations or pronouncements.

Advocate Ansari : So, Professor! You do not want to irritate America ... that is what you mean ...! They say that the U.S.A. is not going to supply us food...

Prof. Pandu : Sir, I do not think that President Johnson would stoop to become peevish or petulant. No! A mature nation will never map out its policy on peevishness. Irritation is understandable, but that I think, will not lead America to forget its obligation to the needy part of the world.

Doctor Damu : Talking about, obligations, Professor! What do you think about Mr.Morarji Desai's contention that it is not obligatory on his part to come to the succour of Tamilnad as regards food subsidy ...

Prof. Pandu : If I have read correctly, Mr.Morarji did not make any reference to obligations, at all. He was merely pleading about his inability to comply with the request of the C.M. of our state. But if the question of obligation is to be considered, the Union Finance Minister has no right to repudiate the obligatory principle.

Doctor Damu : Perhaps he does not like the idea of food subsidy at all ...

Prof. Pandu : Food subsidy, Sir, becomes a necessity sometimes; but no government would like to garb society with subsidy and stipend for all time to come. Subsidy is a gesture of our goodwill. It is a well-intentioned palliative - not a diet. Mr.Morarji cannot find fault with our government's policy of food subsidy himself accomodating food subsidy and to the tune of a hundred and eighty crores of rupees.

Doctor Damu : You are referring to the subsidy with regard to wheat ... for the whole of India.

Prof. Pandu : That is obvious. And Sir! We in our State, would have been benefited to the tune of at least ten crores of rupees through this subsidy, had we been wheat-eaters.

Advocate Ansari : That is a very strong point. Our C.M. ought to have pressed that point ...

Prof. Pandu : .... Not when he was pleading for a moratorium, but only when the problem of food subsidy is taken up for discussion.

Doctor Damu : Apart from actual famine, there is the other problem, malnutrition. Most of the poor-folk have not the means to have a full meal. No Vitamins. That is why their energy is at such a low ebb.

Prof. Pandu : Doctor Damu is quite right in his diagnosis. Always is - whenever he deals with problems. that reminds me of a peculiar statistics I came across sometimes ago. A western food statistician reports that in an individual's life time he eats 30,000 eggs, 6000 loaves of bread, 9000 pounds of potatoes, 8000 pounds of beef, 12 sheep, 15 pigs, 5 calves and 7000 pounds of fish.
Doctor Damu : And digests the whole lot. Digestion is the most important thing ... the most salient point ...

Prof. Pandu : Yes, Sir! Quite true ... not only with regard to food but also with regard to ideas.

Advocate Ansari : That's why sometimes our experts tell us, that ill-digested plans have caused the economic ills ...

Prof. Pandu : We are told from time to time about the havoc caused by such ills. Have you seen the report about the Durgapur plant? Such a colossal waste ...! Mr.Morarji instead of pleading about his inability to help our C.M. should pay much attention to plug such loopholes, stop the drain, and pile up enough money to help the States.

Advocate Ansari : This ought to have been stressed by the C.M.

Prof. Pandu : Why not by men like ourselves, as well? As responsible citizens we should tell our masters to mend their ways....

Doctor Damu : But that would lead us to the arena of politics....

Prof. Pandu : And, Sir, no democrat should be afraid to enter that domain ... it is his inherent right ... his duty ... to see that the country is managed in a proper manner... ! No democrat should think that the whole affair would be managed by ministers alone. Everyone has got a part to play, a duty to perform ...

Advocate Ansari : But most of the people are interested only when something sensational happens...

Doctor Damu : ... Such as the Kairon affair, the Walcot case or to mention the latest, the Hazari Report.

Prof. Pandu : What is the use Sir, about post-mortems...?

Doctor Damu : Why, that would help us to find out guidelines for the future.

Prof. Pandu : .... provided the nation as a whole stands up to condemn the state of affairs, and demands justice and fairplay.

Advocate Ansari : Justice and fairplay! Very costly and very rare commodities, Professor!

Prof. Pandu : True, Sir! True! But of what use in this democracy if we do not get justice enthroned and fairplay maintained.

Advocate Ansari : But people are easily led astray. Clever people on the political arena give either interesting interpretations or sweet promises.

Prof. Pandu : That is where, Sir, men like us are expected to do our duty; tell the people facts, simple and unadulterated truth.

Doctor Damu : Our C.M. has been issuing appeals to the intellectuals to take active interest in public life ...

Prof. Pandu : To be more correct, the C.M. was asking the educated to take interest in the problems of the day - the issues that are confronting us...

Advocate Ansari : Perhaps he wants us to take up the question of the Centre coming to the aid of the State with regard to the food subsidy...

Prof. Pandu : Not that alone Sir! Did you notice the C.M.'s remarks the other day at Madura ... when he inaugurated the Milk Plant there ...? New Zealand, he stated has contributed more than thirty lakhs of rupees for this plant, and with the stipulation that this amount is to be repaid...

Advocate Ansari : In easy instalments I suppose, spread over a long number of years...

Prof. Pandu : Never cultivate this habit of jumping to conclusions, Sir, especially in a court room! Had you but allowed me to finish my sentence you would not have tumbled into an error. The New Zealand government has asked us to supply milk at subsidised rate to the poor.

Advocate Ansari : In short. New Zealand has come to our aid, to bear part of the loss we incur by selling milk at cheaper rate ...

Prof. Pandu : You have explained the nobility of New Zealand, in your own blunt, matter of fact way.

Doctor Damu : While distant New Zealand shows such a kind heart, Delhi refuses to offer its helping hand; refuses to bear even a part of the subsidy amount .... amazing ....

Prof. Pandu : There are more appropriate terms Sir! Then what you were able to muster.

Advocate Ansari : No argument advanced by the C.M. of our State was able to convince Mr. Morarji. The C.M. had to return empty-handed...

Prof. Pandu : Not empty-headed I am sure ....

Advocate Ansari : ...... meaning thereby that he has returned, his head full of new ideas ...?

Prof. Pandu : Sir! I refuse to face your cross examination.

Doctor Damu : But there is a sizable section of society talking today about the Centre-State relationship.

Prof. Pandu : A very necessary issue, Sir! And one, unless solved intelligently, will become awkward, nasty and even assume terrific proportions...

Advocate Ansari : Yes! We read the other day in the papers that a part of Nigeria seceded...

Prof. Pandu : Political explosions have become quite common on the African Continent. But here, sobriety is the guiding principle, and the ruling party, the DMK, has stated categorically that it has given up the idea of secession.

Doctor Damu : But this talk about State-Centre relations? Will this not lead to the old idea...?

Prof. Pandu : Not necessarily. In a way, the issue of State-Centre relationship I would say, is the direct result of our abdication of the idea of separatism. Since we have decided to remain as part and parcel of a single unified, indivisible country, we should arrange the relationship between the units and the federal power, in such a way as to avoid frictions and to cement the unifying force. Never should we lull ourselves with delightful sentiments alone. Ideals should be realised by hard and sustained work, not by tall talks alone.

Advocate Ansari : But basically we are all one. For instance when distant Bihar is hit by drought and famine, we here are not unaffected.

Prof. Pandu : True! The other day, forgetting party politics the former C.M. and the C.M. of today responded to the invitation of the Sheriff of Madras and attended a function in connection with the Bihar Famine Relief.

Doctor Damu : Reports about Bihar are heart-rending. The Centre should come in a big way to help Bihar.

Advocate Ansari : Here too, the havoc caused by the cyclone has been terrific. Touring the districts, along with some friends, I found many tanks and roads damaged.

Doctor Damu : Should not the government repair these tanks, before the monsoon sets in?

Advocate Ansari : They should. They would I am sure. They have already prepared a fine and detailed plan for augmenting food production and tank renovation forms a part of the scheme.

Prof. Pandu : Mr. Ansari! You are referring to the 'Royappa Plan'. I have heard a bit about it. It is fine, and our C.M. I am told discussed about this too with the Centre...

Advocate Ansari : And the result? The usual 'No' I am sure.

Prof. Pandu : The C.M. did not get what he wanted but he has made people think about these problems. Even the Centre cannot say that the State had no definite plan.

Advocate Ansari : Whatever the grievance I do not think that we should do anything that would affect the idea of National Integration.

Prof. Pandu : A fine idea Sir! And a sweet one too. But we should be exact about the full implications of the term, National Integration. You know the story, I think. A girl broke off her engagement and her girl friend asked, why. Said she, "Rosie! He told me that he was in the movie business and I was much enthused. You know I am always thrilled by the very mention of the Movie world. So charming; enchanting; paying; dazzling. So when he told me he was in the movie business a bright future unfolded itself before me. I found Stars with their diamonds and dimples, the heroes with their gait and glamour, so on and so forth. But the day after our engagement, what do I find? My boy friend, my would be 'groom' was driving a furniture van! Was not the van moving?" Hence, he was to be classified as one in the movie business, Sir! It is after all a story, but there is a lesson to be learnt. One should be clear and definite about the real and full meaning of the terms used.

Doctor Damu : Professor! Excuse me. That 'cough' you are having is not to be ignored. You should consult a chest clinic, at the earliest opportunity. I won't allow that cough to remain - no - not for a day more.

Prof. Pandu : Thank you Doctor, thank you. I have had consultations, but with no good result. I am tired and sick of such consultations. You know the poem,
I am sick of gruel and dietetics
I am sick of pills and sicker of emetics
I am sick of pulses' tardiness or quickness
I am sick of blood, its thinness or its thickness
In short within a word I am sick of sickness.

Doctor Damu : That is despondency Professor! We should drive it out quickly. And so may. I suggest, that we should forthwith go to the picture house?

Advocate Ansari : And what is the picture today ...?

Doctor Damu : A hilarious comedy ... entitled "The Absent-minded Professor......"

Prof. Pandu : You ... you ..... I have a mind to test the strength of my walking stick .... run for your life Sir, run.....

Advocate Ansari : Sixty! And yet so swift! Run, doctor! Run!

(Home Rule - 18-6-1967)